No stitches, just platelets and will power
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
