I faked an abortion last night.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
