talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
