the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
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