thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
