Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
