But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
