My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
