How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
