I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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