Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
