The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
