When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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