I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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