I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
