I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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