Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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