I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
