i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
