Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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