8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She just used a chaser for red wine.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
