so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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