I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
