I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
