Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Alive.
So much puke
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
