I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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