I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
