im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
