I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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