I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
