i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
