i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
