He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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