He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
