question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My balls are so social today.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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