i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
