im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
