Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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