After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
