How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize