And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
