soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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