Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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