Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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