I'm really into asian looking animals
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
