After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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