I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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