I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
