Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My ass is underappreciated
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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