I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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