turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
