its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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