Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
