If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So much Jack, so little girl.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
