just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
